So many thoughts passing through my head just before I sat down to write this. Approaching my 17th Anniversary. Shew. I've made it. Crazy thing is. I'm just getting started. I hope my share helps something in someone reading this. Even though it may be small, or wide. I'm feeling raw. I keep reflecting back here lately to my theme song that branded me the title to Lit'l Miss Carteret County. I am a Promise. That's what I sang at every visiting Queen event. Would you like to read some of these lyrics?
Here's a little diddy,
I am a promise I am a possibility I am a promise With a capital P I am a great big bundle of potentiality, oh yeah
And I am learning to hear God's voice And I am trying to make the right choices I'm a promise to be anything He wants me to be
Now, southern etiquette. We don't talk about such struggles that one has gone through in their darkest hours. I bid to differ. I wouldn't be whole if I didn't share a little background on mine. When I first visioned me in this space. I visioned raising children in this old house. (No I've never lived here) I wanted a place to have my unborn children in a safe environment with me. Took me four years to achieve getting pregnant with my first born. A little timeline for you. I was 26yrs. old when I begun here. Then I was 32 when I had my first born. Three c-sections later I was checking out customers with a child nursing under a blanket.
Just coming out of a recession in 2008. Finding ways to build my store inventory with no business lone. Still never have I taken out any loans. I was doing hair privately in a room that would soon be a Nursery.
Just two days before my first born was going to take her first breath in this World. (So brave) Little did I know that the cramps I was feeling was a diagnosis called "HELLP Syndrome". I almost died giving birth to my first born. This was something I did not talk about for awhile. Only because I didn't want to take away the joy of finally having the child I prayed for. All the while. You know where my support come from? Not what you would imagine by the pretty painted picture I created from Home. My support came from my closest girlfriends who were unaware of what support they brought to me. As well my customers.
Regulars, new customers, passerby's. Were my support system. My Angels in my secret darkest hours. Your unknowingly words. Your sincere encouragement. Was priceless in my well being. Especially the only truth in my personal life. I was being robbed, bullied, and manipulated. I had to stop the bleeding. I've had more than I'd like to admit one's that were supposed to be my mentor, and partner etc. shine from using my good name. Bask in the glory of what I've accomplished. No more. Every hug each one of us has exchanged. I probably needed it more than you.
I'm proud of myself. For realizing my self worth. For finally being at a full turn in my life to reflect on everything and say this. I can truly embrace my God given talents.
As well be able to share, love, and continue to thrive on raising my Three God's Gifts. I've busted my ass. I'm tough. Now thanks to all of you. I have financial freedom. I can hold my head high and teach my children about opportunist situations, and people to avoid. I don't come home worn out. I come home fulfilled. This synergy fuels me! Cheers to all of us. We've been on this Journey together for 17yrs.
I've been humbled by you. You've taught me Grace. Reminded me of forgiveness. For I no longer live under the illusion that I can't shine my light bright. Because it's about to get Brighter! Thank you for taking a chance on me!!!
XOXO, Christina
With,
Christina's a Wine Boutique
Capture the Journey Photography
Essence Hair Salon